Utterly Infuriating
by ChubbyPony
Summary: Cody debates about Squib and Nate. Oneshot.


**A/N:** Short one-shot I wrote on a whim. Cody debates about Nate and Squib. For anyone who cares, I'm planning on updating my other 15/love stories sometime within the next week.

**Disclaimer:** Same old, same old. I do not own 15/love, blah blah blah.

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He was a jerk. They shared no common interests. He played tennis, she took photos. When they were together, he had never taken their relationship seriously. He was completely immature. He didn't take school, tennis, her, his friends, or his life seriously. He was utterly infuriating.

And he made her laugh. He was sweet and kind and he took the stress out of everything. And they were so different, that in a sense they were the same. Maybe the silence got awkward sometimes and maybe they fought almost constantly, but in the end, they always got back together. And he didn't take their relationship seriously, but maybe that was only to offset the fact that she took their relationship _too_ seriously.

He was always insanely jealous. He never trusted her. He never said what was on his mind. He played stupid games with her. He was utterly infuriating.

And he loved her. He was insanely jealous, because he loved her too much to share. And he didn't trust her because he was afraid of losing her. And while it was horrible, because he should trust her, in a way, it was sweet. Because it meant that he cared. And she needed that. It was nice to know that someone cared. That someone loved you and cared about you and doted on you and never wanted to lose you.

She loved him. From their first kiss, she'd known there was something there. Something between them that was special, that no one else had. She loved him and she cared about him and she doted on him and she never wanted to lose him.

He was sweet. They shared almost all the same interests. They listened to vinyl together and they talked for hours and the silence was never awkward. He took their friendship seriously. He was mature. And it was utterly infuriating.

Because he could make her laugh and he was sweet and kind, but he _put_ the stress in everything. Because if he had never showed up, then she would be with Squib and she would be happy. And nothing would be confusing or complicated.

He was never jealous and he trusted her with his life. He always said exactly what was on his mind and he never played head games. And it was utterly infuriating.

Because Squib loved her. And it wasn't right to feel this way about someone other than him. It was mean and horrible and cruel to be falling in love with Nate, when Squib loved her and she loved him. Except that maybe Nate felt that way too. Maybe Nate loved her and cared about her and doted on her and never wanted to lose her. But Cody didn't know. Even though Nate never played head games, she didn't know. She knew he liked her. She knew she liked him and was maybe falling for him. But there were too many maybes. There was something there. She knew every time they sat in silence, sorting files and listening to music that Squib never listened to, she knew. It was something special that no one else had. And maybe she loved him and cared about him and doted on him and never wanted to lose him.

But how could she love and care and dote and never want to lose two people? She didn't want to hurt Squib and she didn't want to hurt Nate. But they both wanted in her in the same way and she couldn't be with both of them in the same way. And they hated each other. She wanted them to like each other, because maybe that would make it easier for her to choose. If they could just get along, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much to hurt one of them, because the one she did choose, wouldn't rub it in the other's face. And it was horrible and selfish and cruel, but it was true. She was utterly infuriating.

She wanted to be immature and mature at the same time and she couldn't do that and now she was stuck in limbo. In purgatory. Stuck between loving Nate and loving Squib. And everyone was pressuring her to chose. Pressuring her to be with one or the other. And it was utterly infuriating. Because she had no idea what to do. She wanted to be with Squib and she wanted to be with Nate.

And it wasn't as though she loved Squib more than Nate. She thought she should, but she didn't. She loved him differently than Nate, but not more. And not less. It was split right now the middle. There was half of her being with Squib and laughing with him and yelling at him for his immaturity. And there was half of her being with Nate and laughing with him and yelling at him for being so damn mature about the whole thing! And it was utterly infuriating.


End file.
